the rock is fucking precious

(Source: jessicaisgray, via thewheelsonthebusgofuckyourself)


Oh, when a crime breaks out,
all the cute girls shout,
get the good-looking guy.
When there’s a crime out there,
he’s gonna comb his hair,
'cause he's the good-looking guy.

Book em’ good lookin’.

(Source: wenchyfloozymoo, via fuckyeahboymeetsworld-)


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via me-sexual)